There are some things we want to tell our DrSpouses that drive us crazy, right? 😂

I made a Top 10 list of them.

I don’t have some sort of special privilege to speak for thousands of women whom I dearly call my doc wives friends. But I tried my best to represent us, and some things in my list are meant to be serious, others tongue in cheek.

If you like this list, share this article with your DrSpouse by pressing on the social media buttons on the bottom 😀

10 complaints doctors need to hear from their families

  1. Love us especially when you’re not with us. Drop compliments to your colleagues about us and the kids. Send text messages or FaceTime us. We know that you can’t be with us all the time, but show us you rather be with us than away from us.
  2.  We need to schedule regular date nights. They’re not a luxury, they are a necessity. We don’t have to go drink fancy wine in a penthouse downtown, it can be tacos and beer in a hole in a wall that we always enjoyed. Put it on your calendar and gave it an honest shot. We can always reschedule, but we need to make it a priority.
  3. Let’s be open and honest with each other about our dreams — whether that’s travel, adoption, owning a business, taking a sabbatical or retiring early, moving near family, or starting a charity. Sometimes the day-to-day struggles are overwhelming and we don’t have the luxury to think of the future. (At least, that’s how it feels.) But I promise you, life isn’t always going to be so crazy, and we will have a chance to slow down and savor it. If we talk about our dreams, they can actually become plans. But if we don’t talk about them, they stay dreams.
  4.  We want family finances to not be a solo act but a team effort. Let’s have “money dates” to discuss what our net worth is on Personal Capital, how much longer we have until we are debt-free, and if our investments are on target for retirement. This isn’t just because we’re working towards having a large bank account. It’s because we have “why’s” behind our money like taking that bucket list trip. And we need to know when that’s likely going to happen. And God forbid, if either of us are gone, the other will have the knowledge to take over.
  5. It’s no surprise that because you have to leave our family to take care of other families, we have to do a ton of work at home. But once you take that for granted and become a slob, that’s when you crossed the line and are disrespectful. If you can’t make it better for us, then at least don’t make it worse for us.
  6. In the quest to becoming a rockstar physician, don’t lose yourself. We are in love with a person — who just happens to be a doctor. And we know that man has interests outside medicine. Remember what keeps you energized so much that you wouldn’t mind doing it all day for free? Maybe it’s sports, playing music, writing a book, BBQing, raising livestock. Well, that’s what you need more of in your life. Whatever it is, remember it. And pursue it.
  7. Once you walk through that door into the house, you are a DrSpouse and parent first. If you need to study or chart, don’t plop your laptop in the middle of the living room and expect everybody to stay quiet and put life on halt for you. Instead, take your laptop and leave for your own quiet place.
  8. As a doctor, you might find it easier to care for patients but harder to recognize when you need to self-care. But as your spouse, we KNOW you — sometimes even better than yourself. If we say you need to see your primary care physician, psychiatrist, or other professional, we’re not kidding around. Go see one.
  9. Never lose sight of the real operation and spend quality time with your kids every chance you can. Know what they like, their dreams, talents, and struggles. They are learning so much from you. Your medical career is a calling, but your real legacy and immortality project is your family.
  10. For goodness sake, don’t text us that you’re “coming home” before you’re in the car. We’re tired of the false alarms. It’s only happening once the tires are rolling 😀

If I missed anything you think needs to be on this list, whether it’s serious or funny, please comment below!