Your friends who are not married to a doctor got married, bought nice homes, and had kids pretty much afterwards.
Instead, medical couples decided that we like forever renting, that our late 20s/early 30s should be about “80” hour work weeks, and that our late 30s/early 40s should be spent trying to pay back six figures of student loan debt 🤣
So when it comes to medical couples deciding when to have kids, it’s a challenge because we’re balancing your fertility years with the years you and your DrSpouse are working your hardest!
The challenge is that according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, a woman’s peak reproductive years are between the late teens and late 20s. By the time your DrSpouse enters attendinghood, you may be outside that age range.
No wonder you or your DrSpouse feel a little biological pressure!
So the decision when to have kids becomes a huge conundrum:
“Should you have them now while in medical training? Or should you wait until attendinghood?”
I’ve talked to many medical families about this question, and I can tell you that there is nobody who can give you the right answer. Not your parents, your closest friends, or the person you look up to the most in the world.
Not even me.
When to have kids is a decision between you and your DrSpouse. No medical journey looks the same. No answer is the same.
However, there are considerations that will help you decide. Here are some of them.
Pro Kid During Training
- If you do end up having problems conceiving, there is still time to address the issues. Or else, you may end up like this surgeon family who waited so long that they can’t have kids.
- Having a little one adds to your family’s joy. The sooner you have one, the sooner you get to enjoy.
- If you are planning to start a business, you can use this time while in training to focus on raising small kids. Then you can hit the ground running with the business when kids are more independent.
- You still have the youthful energy and health to care for small, active kids.
Pro Kid After Training
- You don’t want to juggle the stress of solo parenting many nights, evenings, and weekends when your DrSpouse is at the hospital.
- You don’t want the financial stress of a tight training budget.
- Your health insurance as an attending is likely better than in medical school or training.
- You are likely living away from your family and support system who would otherwise lend you a hand in raising your family.
Having a baby during or after training are different experiences. One is not better than the other. It’s just…DIFFERENT.
You can discern with your DrSpouse but at the end only you can determine what is right for your family. No medical journey looks the same. No answer is the same.
Whatever YOU decide is what’s right for your family.
I’m a hugger. I’m hugging and supporting you, friend ❤️
To your strong medical family,
Did I miss any pros and cons you considered when you had kids?