For past Christmases, I went through a list and went to the store or online to try to successfully guess what people wanted as gifts.

If I guessed right, I was good until the challenge repeated next year. If I was wrong, they returned it for the right size or color or regifted it.

It’s time-consuming. Financially draining. Cluttering.

It’s nuts, isn’t it?

Many people feel this way and I’m hardly the first person to attempt to simplify Christmas.

Starting A Revolution

Three years ago, I tried to revolt against this madness and convinced my extended family to stop exchanging gifts with everyone. That meant — aunts, uncles, cousins.

Just like that, I announced very early in the year that we were doing a white elephant exchange.

If you haven’t played it before, let me introduce you. In this game, each person brings one gift worth $10-15 that is either silly or super helpful like toilet paper. Then we fight over the gift each person wants the most.

Frugal. Fun. Useful. What more could you want?

The problem was that you don’t know my family until you have met them.

I Had An Uphill Battle

They have never heard of this game before and I had to explain the rules thirteen times. Then I had to reject all proposed rule variations. They didn’t want to TRUST me.

Also, my idea of gift giving — involving stealing — just seemed barbaric to my family.

But if there was ever a determined person, it was me!

The first year we did this, everybody picked their gifts and nobody stole, which missed the main point of the game. It was such a dud that I had to FORGET how badly it went before I had the courage to propose it again.

The year after, we got so into the game that we chased each other around the room to steal from one another.

What was different?

The second time we played, we had EXPERIENCE. We now understood the rules and gained a new perspective.

The new white elephant tradition got us laughing and bonding. It reclaimed Christmas.

Creating Meaningful Experiences

If you’re like me, you want to return to the heart of what Christmas is about — people and experiences — rather than accumulating things.

At the end of our lives, meaningful experiences and relationships are what we value the most.

Too Many Gifts Is Problematic

The cost of too many gifts is money and time.

Every year, the average American family spends over $900 on Christmas gifts. When over half of millennials have less than $1000 in savings, that’s a problem.

Also, by not going to the stores several times to buy or to return, it opens up a lot of time.

The other time sucker is making lists and figuring out who wants what.

What You Can Do Instead

These are a few ideas you can do with the time and money you save:

  • Go caroling through your church.
  • Wear ugly sweaters for a get-together with friends.
  • Drive through the neighborhood and share which lights you like best.
  • Make cookies.
  • Watch movies on Netflix.

You Don’t Have To Be A Scrooge

Don’t get me wrong. You can still buy gifts. But it’s not the kind that accumulates in people’s homes. We don’t need more stuff.

Instead, you can tip your teachers, mail carrier, trash collector, hair dresser, or donate to charity. You can buy museum membership for your kids. You can buy an airline ticket for your parents or fill up their gas tanks to come visit.

These are kind of gifts that make a difference or that you can do together and create memories.

In Summary

If you decide to stop or modify gift exchanges this Christmas, too, communicate it early. If it flops, don’t lose courage. New traditions don’t form overnight but with time.

At the end of our lives, relationships and meaningful experiences are what we cherish. Not stuff.

You can also take the challenge to simplify Christmas to get back to making people and experiences the focus of your holidays, too.

To strong medical families,